Friday, March 13, 2009

I Hate March!

I love the front cover of a new magazine. It's like it can read my mind. It knows what I want to do and learn. It knows what I need and desire. I really do want to beat ab flab. I absolutely need to know what snacks won't pack on the pounds. And and I really, really, REALLY want to be STRONG, SEXY & SCULPTED IN 28 DAYS. So I open the magazine to soak in all the wisdom that it has to offer. And as I flip through the pages, I start to notice a theme:

Green and Gorgeous- Green your beauty routine to protect the environment and look fabulous

Eco-friendly gifts we love

A t-shirt that reads, "GREEN IS THE NEW BLACK"

An ad for an earth-friendly makeup brush that "has a conscience"

29 ways to salute mother earth

A celebrity's "green twist" on health and fitness and her
eco-friendly home

Environmentally responsible clothing

Are you getting as annoyed as I am? If not, this blog is probably not for you. Maybe you should go Google Leonardo DiCaprio.

Bye, bye now. Go on.....up in the right hand corner...there.

Okay, now we can talk.

See, I hate March because we all get our April magazines in March. Poor April has been hijacked by the environmentalists. April is now Earth day, global warming hysteria and climate change awareness month. Well, not in so many words, but you get the point. I am getting so tired of being lectured about how I am destroying mother earth because my makeup brush doesn't have a conscience! My makeup brush is made of plastic and it is totally from
Wal-Mart. I am just coming clean here people.

We can learn a lot from the environmental activists though. They have created so many buzz words that have culturized the crisis. Green used to be my favorite color. Now it is just annoying. Just 5 years ago, I would have thought that a carbon credit was that weird carbon paper cashiers would use to imprint your credit card. And I probably would have slapped you if you told me that my "footprint" was the size of Al Gore's. No offense Al. I'm just sensitive about certain things.

Let me tell you where I am coming from. I love the earth. I do. I don't want to destroy it. And I think Al Gore is probably a really nice guy. I just think that it is strange that so much time, effort, money, activism, advertising, and legislation is going into.....the weather. That changes. Like it has. For many years now. Weren't we going through a second ice age a couple of decades ago? I mean, I wish the globe would make up it's mind because, I could actually go for some warming right about now. That's another thing I hate about March.

There is an environment that I do believe is under attack. I feel that it is crucial to clean it up. I know that it is the key to saving the planet. Like the climate, it is global. It has no language or borders. It affects us all. It is something that we all have in common. It is the family. It is our
home environment.

I am going to take a page from the environmentalist's handbook and use some of their buzz words to "raise awareness" about the
real problem. I want to tackle the home environment and I hope you will join the cause.

But before we start, I really need to do some laundry. I don't have a single, environmentally responsible piece of clothing to wear tomorrow.

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  1. I am with you girlfriend! I am so excited to read your blog. What a great subject, and you are such a good writer - so witty.

  2. Hi Melody!

    What a great post! I am all for saving the environment too. But I think some other issues are being ignored like the family. Why doesn't anyone talk about this issue???

    Have a super week!


  3. Okay- I've had this question for a long -long time and haven't found the right person to ask... but after this post- I KNOW you will shoot it to me straight.

    Ya know all the current hype about not using plastic trash bags... buying and using those re-usable grocery bags??? Well I bought some.. and used them for about a week... and you know what happened?
    I ran out of small bags to use in my bathroom trash cans. So am I suppose to BUY small plastic bags?? or do these green people use -- what do they use to line their small trash cans?

    PLease tell me.

  4. Thanks for visiting my "new idea" home environment blog. Your question made me smile. The environmentalist world is full of contradictions and simple idealism. My answer is.....if Al gore can take a private jet, which is the furthest thing from being eco-friendly, to accept his Nobel Peace Prize for his Global Warming activism, then it is okay for you to use plastic grocery bags to line your small trash cans. I think Mother Earth will understand!

  5. Hello Melody! Love your post and blog theme! I'm totally with you. I love our planet, and that's why I think these environmentalists are hazardous to Mother Earth's health. I REUSE my plastic grocery bags. I have 1001 uses for them, including in the garden and I can testify that they DO disintegrate after just a few months -- they do not have a half-life of a few million years as they would have us believe. Those cloth bags they want us to purchase have to be washed which uses water, detergent and electricity, not counting my time and sanity. The flimsy paper-cloth types are not washable and fall apart very quickly anyway, so they end up in the landfill. And that's just one of the completely illogical ideas the Al Gores of this world are trying shove down our throats. You have a lot of posts to write!

  6. Hi there,
    I've stumbled on your blog via your recipe blog via (I can't remember exactly where I stumbled upon that one to tell you the truth - I think it was the Ultimate Blog Party). Anyways, you really made me smile today. I totally get where you are coming from (and I love your recipes too). Cheers :o)